Two things can be true: the holidays can be both a magical time of year and overstimulating and stressful. Supporting emotional regulation during the holidays is especially important for children who may feel overwhelmed by sensory input, transitions, and changes in routine. While many look forward to family traditions, the pressure to attend gatherings and manage new environments can bring added stress for kids — and parents too.
In this post, we’ll explore practical ways for supporting emotional regulation during the holidays so your child can feel more comfortable and confident.
1. Consent-Based Greetings and Autonomy
Have you ever been asked to hug or kiss a relative when you didn’t want to? That discomfort is exactly why it’s so important to give kids autonomy around physical contact. When children are pressured to greet someone with touch, it erodes their trust in their own boundaries.
Before gatherings, remind your child that they get to choose how to greet others. Offer examples such as waving, saying “hi,” giving a high five or fist bump, or simply being near you. These options emphasize consent, build confidence, and reduce stress around social expectations.
For a great resource on teaching body autonomy, check out this article from Cleveland Clinic.
2. Preview the Event and Role-Play
Many neurodivergent children regulate better when they know what to expect. Before the event, talk about who will be there, what activities will happen, and what sensory experiences might come up (like loud music or strong smells).
You can also help your child plan for challenges by role-playing. For example:
- “When we arrive, lots of people might say hello. You can wave, smile, or stand next to me.”
- “If someone offers food you don’t want, you can say, ‘No, thank you.’”
These conversations build predictability and reduce anxiety, helping your child feel more in control.
3. Reframe “Manners”
The holidays often come with well-meaning but outdated expectations about manners. Taking a sensory break isn’t being rude—it’s self-regulation. It’s important to help extended family understand that.
Parents can normalize breaks with phrases like:
- “This is part of how she self-regulates. We make space for that whenever she needs it.”
- “Everyone has ways they recharge—some kids need movement or quiet time. This is just his way.”
Reframing “manners” helps others see self-regulation as a healthy, respectful choice rather than misbehavior.
4. Build in Recovery Days
Between family events, school programs, and travel, holiday schedules can quickly fill up. Saying yes to every invitation can lead to exhaustion and burnout—for both kids and parents.
When possible, leave room for rest and recovery. Plan for decompression time after big gatherings or build in slow mornings before the next event. This helps regulate the nervous system and maintain balance throughout the season.
5. Model Regulation Yourself
Children often look to their parents to gauge how to handle stress. Modeling calmness, naming your emotions, and taking short breaks when you feel overwhelmed all show your child that regulation is a skill, not perfection.
Try saying things like, “I’m feeling a little overwhelmed, so I’m going to take a few minutes to reset.” These moments teach self-awareness and normalize emotional care for the whole family.
Final Thoughts
Supporting emotional regulation during the holidays doesn’t mean preventing every meltdown—it’s about helping your child feel safe, seen, and understood. By respecting their boundaries, planning ahead, and normalizing sensory needs, you create a season that’s not only joyful but emotionally sustainable.
At the Center for Rising Minds, we’d love to help you and your family build emotional regulation skills that last beyond the holidays. Please reach out to us today to inquire about our services or join our waitlist.
