Every December, the pressure to “start fresh” builds. We promise ourselves new habits, healthier routines, and better versions of who we are. But for many people — especially neurodivergent adults or anyone with anxiety, or perfectionistic tendencies — traditional resolutions can quickly become another source of shame and stress.
In this post, we’re rethinking New Year’s resolutions by exploring how to set goals that actually support emotional regulation, self-trust, and long-term growth.
Why Traditional Resolutions Often Fail
Most resolutions focus on fixing something we don’t like about ourselves — lose weight, be more organized, stop procrastinating. For neurodivergent adults and children alike, these “all or nothing” goals can trigger overwhelm or avoidance.
Instead of chasing perfection, consider naming what you want more of — calm, steadiness, focus, joy. This small shift reframes goals around your values, not your flaws.
From Resolutions to Rhythms
Rigid resolutions often collapse when life gets unpredictable. But rhythms — flexible, recurring patterns of care — are more sustainable.
Think of rhythms as “anchors” rather than rules:
- “I move my body most mornings” instead of “I’ll work out every day.”
- “I eat foods that give me energy” instead of “I’ll quit sugar.”
Rhythms allow space for rest, bad days, and shifting energy. They build consistency through compassion, not control.
Set Goals That Work with Your Brain (SMART Goals)
Vague resolutions like “I’ll be more organized” don’t give your brain enough direction. SMART goals provide clarity while staying flexible — perfect for neurodivergent brains or anyone who struggles with executive function.
S – Specific: Define exactly what you want to do.
“I’ll put my planner on my desk and write tomorrow’s priorities each night.”
M – Measurable: Track progress for awareness, not judgment.
“I’ll check off my three main tasks each day.”
A – Achievable: Match your goals to your current energy and resources.
Instead of a 60-minute workout, start with 10–15 minutes of movement.
R – Relevant: Connect goals to your true values.
“I’ll schedule rest breaks because being calmer helps me show up for my family.”
T – Time-Bound: Give goals a container so they feel doable.
“I’ll try this rhythm for two weeks, then reassess what’s working.”
SMART goals shift change from pressure to clarity, supporting your executive functioning system instead of overwhelming it.
Practice Gentle Accountability
Rather than tracking perfection, track awareness:
- “What helped me show up this week?”
- “What got in the way?”
- “What do I need more or less of next week?”
Self-reflection creates sustainable change because it keeps shame out of the driver’s seat. If you want extra guidance on cultivating self-compassion while setting goals, Dr. Kristin Neff offers practical exercises for building self-compassion and staying gentle with yourself throughout the year.
Final Thoughts
Rethinking New Year’s resolutions means letting go of the idea that change requires punishment or pressure. Real growth happens through patience, curiosity, and repair — not unrealistic expectations.
If you want help setting realistic goals that honor your energy and mental health, Center for Rising Minds can guide you. We support adults and families in building sustainable habits, managing ADHD, and navigating executive function challenges. Reach out today to schedule a free consultation or join our waitlist.
